Only you can save you

lâcher-prise

“-You should have walked away.

-I didn’t.

-Why?

-Because you never know how he is going to behave when you tell him your relationship is over. Because you never know how he is going to behave if you dare to tell him you don’t like that trip to his family home he had been forcing you to take for the last twenty five years. Because you never know how he is going to react when you tell him your heart was broken when he prevented you from going to the funerals of your little sister. Because you never know how he is going to react when you tell him that what attracted you to him does not exist anymore. Because you never know how he is going to behave when you tell him you don’t feel safe anymore. Because you never know how he is going to react when you tell him you don’t love him anymore. No, you just never know!”

This is one of the reasons why many people stay in toxic and destructive marriages or relationships.

Fear.

Because their partner is not a sweet person they met anymore but instead a violent person ready and able to do all the unbelievable and horrible things to keep their partner with them. Even when everything says the right thing to do is to let go.

They fear for their lives. And they are right because every single day people die or live miserable lives because of their relationship. But is staying the right decision?

As for me, when you have done your best to make your marriage or relationship work, to save your broken relationship and bring back that love which united you, in vain, it is wise to let go. Your life and happiness are more important than anything else, remember.

People make mistakes. You thought he or she was THE ONE, the person you were looking for to spend the rest of your life. You thought you were going to build this solid, happy, healthy and lasting marriage. You thought you were going to age together. This is not going to happen.

And then what?

Yes, people make mistakes! And it is very OK to make mistakes, right? And to walk away from a relationship when it is not working despite our efforts to fix it.

But what would be crazy and irresponsible would be to stay in a relationship where you are not happy, a marriage where you are not living and blossoming but surviving with fear as your daily companion.

Yes, it is hard to start all over again. It is scary because you don’t trust people anymore and don’t want to experience that nightmare again. It is very scary when you have no means to support yourself, and no friends. You will suffer. But you will get through, stronger, and have the life you desire and deserve.

Only you can save you, remember!

Your turn…

Do you relate? If this is you, you know what to do. Life is short. Your time is limited as Steve Jobs said. And no one deserves to live a miserable life because of someone’s else, a life they had no control over. If this is you, I really hope this post inspires you to do what is good for you. What is right for you. It is the right thing to do.

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You don’t find happiness: you create it

Happiness

“I have all I need to be happy:  a husband or wife, children, fancy cars, mansions, a good and lucrative job; I go on vacations to magical places and stay in 5 stars hotels; I only wear luxury brands clothing and shoes, but I am not happy.”

You have certainly heard people say the above. And you can’t help but ask yourself: Why are they not happy?

Because we tend to think if we have certain things, go to certain places, have certain jobs, live at certain places, or do what our friends, neighbors, relatives, colleagues are doing; if we go where they are going, have what they have, the job they have, the partner they have, we will be happy. Even when we do all this with loans or our credit cards!

Grosse erreur! Big mistake I mean!

Because happiness has nothing to do with material things you possess, places where you are, things you do… You design it. You create it.

YOU.

For some people, it is just knowing they have a wonderful and caring family. For others, it is making a difference in other people’s lives. For some others, it is providing for their beloved ones. Mine is seeing and feeling the unconditional love of my family, and contributing to making a difference in other people’s lives: my beloved ones, my colleagues, my neighbors, or strangers. Yes, because I do that whenever I can, with what I have, where I am.

Two days ago I was walking on a street in my city when a young lady approached me and asked for a… pad. I was surprised by such a request because it was the first time that someone made that kind of request. I looked in my purse and fortunately could find…two tampons. I gave it to her and she asked me if she could give me a hug because that was the only thing she could give me to thank me for saving her life.

« Saving your life ? I asked.

« Yes, maam, I just came out of the prison and hadn’t used these precious things for long. »

I invited her for a coffee and later on we went to the closest Shoppers and I bought her more tampons.

After that, I decided to do something about this. Something that will touch more women in the same situation. So, starting a project to provide women in jail and homeless women with feminine products seemed to me to be what to do. We very often take these little things for granted. We shouldn’t. And feminine care shouldn’t be a luxury! The need for feminine products is just vital as needing toilet paper. So, it should be made available to all women that menstruate and/or have bladder control issues.

So, I need your help to make this project happen. Tampons and pads for women, not toxic, but eco-friendly. The ideal would be to donate reusable menstrual cups, the best solution as it is less waste in landfill or water treatment plants, and money saving for women who use it.

Want to help women in jail and homeless women preserve their dignity?

Want to make a difference in other people’s lives by contributing to meet women unique needs?

Let me know!

Men and women, you are all invited and your help is more than welcome: it is needed! Together we can make it happen.